This is, and always has been, a touchy subject. So touchy in fact, that when I do it, I tell my significant other that “I’m going to go breathe deep for a bit, babe.”
The stigma that’s become attached to the word “meditation” has become pretty engrained in rich white lady syndrome, and it’s teetered in and out of being trendy for decades now.
But, alas. I have come to a point in my practice where I feel I can truly see meditation for what it actually is, and I’m going to distill all of that information here.
This is a few paragraphs on meditation. What is it, and why should you do it?
I’ve been meditating off and on for a little more than a decade now. I started completely by accident.
You see, in a past life I was a half-baked musician. The band I was in, Miser Dally, (what a name, oh man) had a jam space in the basement library of a public school that had closed down.
Looking back, I must admit – it was pretty sweet. We hung out down there, got high, talked about conspiracy theories and wasted our lives away – you know, all the good stuff that early 20 somethings do as they slowly realize that they got screwed over somewhere along the way, and that they should actually stand up and do something about it.
It was great. It was like $200 per month – just ridiculous and so liberating as a kid getting to let loose in such a massive indoor space. We were very fortunate.
So in this jam space, we always had a lot of interesting characters rolling through. One of them was Matt. He had his own group and they were really onto something. They had a sound and energy that no one in the area could match, and I was always enthralled with their ability to share the energies that they could.
I would always think “how the Hell do they do it? How can we be more like that?? How can I be more like that?”
Well, little did I know, on a quiet evening alone in the space with Matt, I would find out. I’m sure we were high – we always were.
For some reason, Matt must have felt that I was “ready” or “worthy” or whatever the Hell it was. He plugged his iPod into our shitty old speakers, and said “Hey Jay, try this with me. They’re called Chakra tones.”
I’m sitting there looking at him, half suspicious and half excited – but I’m open and I accept what he’s sharing. Baked into my mind are the visions of Matt teaching me about the Chakra system, and walking me through each tone.
You see, the Chakras are these “wheels” throughout the body. They’re energy centres which govern different parts of one enclosed system. Some folks say there’s 5, some say there’s 7, and some say there’s many more.
The system that I learned was 7. The intriguing thing for me was always that there are 7 musical notes and 7 colours of the rainbow.
The way I came to understand the Chakras was that by practicing with them regularly – usually once per day – a human is able to tune themselves to everything in existence (as really everything is simply light and sound, ie. all of the musical notes and all of the colours of the rainbow).
I became obsessed. I did it every day, and I started to notice real changes. My conversations were always more interesting, I wouldn’t get angry when I stubbed my toe. I could write songs in my head from start to finish and started to eat better by default.
I could explain with a great, calm demeanour the thoughts that I had in my head, and I could control social situations with ease. Until I couldn’t.
I’ll never forget one night when we were having supper at my aunt and uncle’s. My youngest cousin had recently gotten hurt, and this meant no scholarship to college.
They were defeated, fearful, angry and sad. I continued to push my undying optimism on them. “Oh he’ll be fine, he’s great at everything!” I say. “No Jay, you don’t understand. This is just horrible.” Comes the rebuttal. “Oh come on you guys, he needs you to be optimistic and supportive! He’ll do great.”
They were clearly in mourning. This back and forth continued for longer than I’d like to admit, until a crescendo into the climax of my uncle slamming hit fists on the table. “ENOUGH” he screamed and look at me with fury in his eyes.
Jesus. What have I done? Why did this happen? I sit in silence, embarrassed of what I had caused. My optimism and energy has caused this.
We’ve since talked about these events and have had a good laugh by the way – so no harm whatsoever.
But! What the Hell was that?? Why did it happen and what kind of fallout did it cause?
Well from this point forward, I began to question the powers that I possessed. “Maybe doing this isn’t such a good idea… Maybe my mindset and opinions will hurt people. Maybe I should stop.”
You know, all the thoughts that a young 20 something has when they think they know it all.
Suffice it to say, I moved in and out of the practice. For the past decade, I’ve been off and on the Chakra tuning ritual.
Recently I started it up again. Last year, I was doing it. But I was doing something strange with it..
I had just renamed my business to four32 MEDIA. four32 is a representation of 432hz – the frequency that apparently musicians like The Beatles, Hendrix, The Doors and the like tuned their instruments to.
“How fascinating” I would think – as I proceed to tune my Chakra tones down to 432hz. I realized last month that this was a massive mistake.
You see, while I enjoyed the benefits of meditation itself. That is, intense focus on one thing for an extended period of time. I was negatively affected by literally detuning my entire body.
While a lot of good happened to me last year, a lot of unexplainable bad things happened as well. I had weird rubs with clients, my relationship with my partner was far from perfect – I was constantly tired and questioning myself.
Yeah I churned out almost 200k in a year and worked hard – but something just wasn’t right.
I did keep up with the practice, excited about my new 432hz realization. I kept up with it all the way until my motorcycle accident in May. After that happened, I did the meditations a couple of times after my surgery, and then it seemed to fizzle away.
Enter the first week of November, 2023. I have an intuitive thought to explore the Chakra tones again, but this time something is telling me that I was tuning them incorrectly. I looked into it – and I was right! “Oh god, what have I done?” I think to myself, almost laughing. “I was detuning myself all last year!”
I jumped into my first meditation, and BOOM! I was instantly brought to a memory that I didn’t know existed. Breath all the way in, the thought fades away – all the way out, and it comes back softer now.
When I was 26 or so and drove out to Calgary – I had gotten back into meditation again – and I was using the proper tuning.
When I was out there, everything just seemed to work out. I stayed with my cousin for a little while, and then I had the thought “I need to get my own place.” Literally within a week, I had an opportunity fall into my lap that was from another dimension. A family friend liked to vacation in Arizona for the winter, and she needed a house sitter.
“How could this be?” I recall thinking to myself. “Must be a coincidence.”
But then this just kept happening… I needed to make more money – doing something I liked. The next week I’m a driver at the Calgary Car Auction on the weekends.
The icing on the cake was when an old mentor of mine had died. His neighbour called me and told me. And get this – the visitation at the funeral home was literally the day after I got home… I would be driving home the next week.
Now flash forward! We’re back in the meditation. I open my eyes, I can’t believe the memory I’ve just looked at in between my breaths.
You see this is the third time I’ve started meditating regularly. The first was with Matt, and during that time all sorts of magic began to happen – eventually scaring me away with my uncle’s reaction to my words. The second was in Calgary, ending when I slipped into a depression upon returning home.
The third is now. I’m still only beginning to enjoy the benefits, but this time is somehow different. This time I’m not using it to cope – or as a replacement to some sort of drug or substance. This time, my head is clear – and I can see it for what it really is.
Meditation, whichever the method of use, is a tool. It’s a tool that allows us to perform at our best when our eyes are open.
At its very foundation, it allows me to focus on one thing for an extended period of time. I breath in as deep as I can, and out for as long as I can. Thoughts come and go, and that’s okay. I calmly observe them and politely remind them I’m supposed to be focusing on my breath and the tones that I’m hearing.
Meditation allows me to care more. It allows me to look at my thoughts objectively, in an unbiased way.
Meditation allows me to see others pain as just that – their pain. And I feel no need to heal them, yet instead to lead by example and share my good energy when I can.
Meditation teaches me to accept, and to dream – all at once.
Unequivocally, it allows it’s practitioner to absorb and release energies – and after all, that’s what we are. That’s what everything is.
The practice for me has become like drinking water. I put no more pressure on it than I would on something like eating a meal or taking my dog for a walk.
I believe that everyone should practice it, no matter what version it is. Remember, meditation is simply focusing on one thing for an extended period of time, allowing yourself to simply look at your thoughts – not judging them.
I encourage you to give it a try – there are resources everywhere to learn how to do it. The practice of meditation certainly changed my life. I wonder how it could change yours too.
To Your Success,
Jay Ashcroft
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