How to Manage Stress – and the Difference Between Good Stress and Bad Stress

Stress is God in disguise. 

If God is creation, then what does that make stress? We create because of stress. Stress forces the entrepreneur to create in order to solve the problems that they’re faced with. 

Not making enough money? Come up with a new product or service to sell – or rework your offer to reach more potential clients. 

In this game of business ownership, there are a couple different kinds of stress. So, let’s dive into how to manage stress – and the difference between good stress and bad stress. 

The word stress has a horrible stigma attached to it. In Japan, the word karoshi translates into “overwork death”. Culturally, the Japanese will literally work themselves to death – having heart attacks or strokes on the job. This, of course – is bad stress. Bad stress is running at a full sprint on the hamster wheel, not knowing why you’re doing it. 

Bad stress is believing there is a problem or a threat, when there really isn’t one at all. Bad stress is being concerned about outcomes to situations that have yet to come to pass, or being concerned about the opinions of others – opinions that should remain inconsequential. 

Now, what about good stress? Good stress is your best friend. Good stress is a gentle and encouraging nudge. It comes in the form of the lease payment being due, or the employee that it’s your responsibility to feed. 

Good stress comes in the form of goals that you’ve publicly set for yourself, or commitments you’ve made socially or professionally. 

Something that I’ve come to learn is that bad stress needs to be first managed and then eliminated. And good stress? Well, good stress needs to be chosen. 

That’s right – choose your stress. Let me explain. 

I have a history of being overly ambitious. I remember when I was working for a luxury home builder as a carpenter. There was this guy working for them named Mark. He was a weird dude. 

He was their cabinet refinisher and he was about 35. He had just finished telling me that he lived with a bunch of roommates and his room was actually meant to be a closet. 

He also told me that on the weekends, he built Lego sets.

And so I, in my spiritual infancy, had just finished telling him how he needed to live his life. “Oh come on, man!” I tell him with angst in my voice, in between nervous cigarette puffs, “There’s more to life than that! Don’t you want a bedroom with windows? Don’t you want to actually see and do things instead of playing with Lego?” 

He looks at me with a smirk. And I’ll never forget what he said. “Not everyone can be ambitious.” 

I step back, and I smile. I realize in that moment that my beliefs and desires are mine, and everyone has their own path to walk.  So, if you’re like me – ambitious as Hell with no end in sight – then listen up. 

Stress yourself out. Do it in weird and abstract ways – push the lever as far as it will go without allowing self-destruction. But even if you do push it too far, you can still stand up where you fell down. 

Reframe it – you’re just learning how to walk. That’s it. Learning how to walk is pretty intense isn’t it? Well this is just the same thing as that. 

Do things – start the business and feel the stress of not knowing where your next pay cheque is coming from. Put yourself out there. Ask questions and add value to people’s lives. 

Solve their problems, and charge what you’re worth.  

Okay, so you’ve accomplished this. Now what? Well, this apartment that you’re living in – you don’t really like it anymore. So, upgrade. 

Yes, you can afford it. Just make more money. Choose your stress. 

Once you’ve upgraded the apartment, maybe you’ve decided that you want a small office outside of the house – you know, to separate business from pleasure. Can you afford $400 extra per month? Probably. 

Go for it. 

Okay, now you’ve levelled up your earnings. Because of that $400 expense each month, you’ve actually increased your monthly profits by $2k. Well done. 

Time for some more healthy stress. You want a photo studio right? Go find a worn down dust box of a commercial unit and lease it. Can you afford 1.3k extra per month and a 40k investment into renovations? 

I don’t know – but I guess we’ll find out. 

Alright perfect, a year has gone by and because of the studio you’ve managed to double your profits. Time for a new stressor. Let’s move an hour north of Toronto – out of the home town. Out of the network of historical and circumstantial friendships and acquaintances. 

Let’s really go into the unknown.

Do you see where I’m going with this? That was my story, kept short, sweet and to the point. 

Every time I feel as though things begin to get too easy, I place some new stress on myself. And you know what? Every single time I tend to rise to the occasion. Because I don’t have a choice – I don’t give myself one. 

This theme dates back to 1519, when Hernán Cortés led a Spanish expedition that landed in Mexico. He knew that the crews were tired from the journey, but he needed to be sure that they succeeded in the new land.

He ordered the burning of the ships – and they had no choice but to accomplish the tasks at hand. 

Use this concept for yourself. As humans, we experience stress – there’s no doubt about that. But I guarantee you that if you’re able to choose your stress, then the everyday mundane and petty default stress will melt away. 

Start small, and build up your tolerance from there. You know you’re in the right place if you’re teetering on the brink of fear and excitement. Lean into it – and believe in yourself. You’ve got this. 

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All The Best,

Jay Ashcroft