Your Environment Defines You

In 1975, there was an epidemic of fear sweeping across The United States - and it wasn’t the increasing fuel costs or the unrest in the war torn countries that the US was constantly at odds with. 

It was actually a fear of something that hadn’t happened yet. You see, the war in Vietnam had just ended, and the powers that be were concerned that upon their return to the mainland, the soldiers from the war would be a collective of drug crazed lunatics. 

More often than not, soldiers fighting in the war in Vietnam actually took to heroin use quite religiously. Now, I don’t know if you’ve ever known someone who was at odds with this drug, or if you’ve heard stories about celebrities trying to loosen its grip - but heroin dependency is seemingly impossible to kick, even for the most strong willed individuals. 

So, how would these soldiers fare when they came back home? Well, much to everyone’s surprise - only 1% of these soldiers actually used heroin when they returned to the States. 

Strangely, the use of the narcotic was tied directly to the environment that they were living in - and when they got back home these soldiers had next to zero interest in using it as a coping mechanism for the everyday stresses of normal life. 

So, what can we learn from this? How can we take this story and apply it to our own lives? Well, you can certainly conclude that your environment defines you. And furthermore, you can accept that there is something that can always be done about an undesirable circumstance. This is more true for some individuals than others - but once you become aware of it, you can certainly use it to your advantage when you’re diving deep into how your psychology operates. 

For these soldiers, they didn’t have a choice in the matter - their superiors decided to pull them out of Vietnam. But the point is that once that decision was made, the unsavoury behaviour they were exhibiting seemingly disappeared, because the behaviour was directly linked to their environment.

In 2019, I started a photography and videography business in my home town. I made a lot of really aggressive moves for about 4 years to build my company up to where I wanted it to be. First I found myself a small office, then I took on a subcontractor employee and then I renovated a commercial unit into a 1200 square foot photo studio. 

But, once I finished that studio and worked out of it for 6 months or so - I was left asking myself if this was it. Arriving at my end goal felt underwhelming. I had accomplished in 4 years what usually takes a photographer the entirety of their career, and it just wasn’t enough. 

Now, this feeling of lack was certainly tied to a number of things that I don’t need to get into here, but at the core of my reasoning the issue is that my hometown felt like it was suffocating me. Staying there certainly was an option - I could have continued to work out of my studio and remain in my comfort zone - but that was the issue. It was too comfortable, something just felt uninspiring and too easy, almost like it was a cop out. 

I would spiral in and out of negativity every day, while I was battling inner demons that were connected directly to remaining in my hometown. It was affecting my work and it was affecting my relationships.

And so, after a lot of thought and deliberation - I made the announcement to my girlfriend at the time. I told her we were moving to Muskoka. If you aren’t familiar, Muskoka is a natural wonderland filled with lakes, rock faces and forests about 2 hours north of Toronto. 

I didn’t know why I had to get to Muskoka, I just knew that it was the next big leap to make. Now, it took me 3 years including a pit stop for 2 years accompanied with a broken leg in another township about an hour south of where I wanted to be - but we finally made it to Muskoka. 

Once we got here, something strange happened. An overwhelming feeling of calm and confident focus came over me. I felt whole and present in the moment, grateful for my past and excited about the future. A tone of general optimism flooded into my psyche as I began to understand why I wanted to live in Muskoka. In fact, I constantly find myself asking why I didn’t make the move years earlier. 

And this isn’t an isolated instance, either. When I was 18, I went to University for 4 years in a different town, and those have become some of my fondest memories. When I was 24, I lived in Muskoka for about 8 months, another time I hold dear to my heart. 

Yet again, when I was 26, I went out West for a year and a half - and I did the deep work required to build my business. In each of these instances, I felt free, curious and excited about life - like I was fulfilling a primal urge to explore and elevate my consciousness. 

But, every time I returned to my hometown, I was met with the exact same routine, just like clockwork. At first it was great. I would see old friends, I would feel happy and positive. But after several months - with the exception of the last time, when I was distracted by the excitement of building my business - I would eventually feel this existential dread, like I was meant for more. 

Now, maybe you haven’t experienced anything like this. Maybe you love your hometown, and you don’t plan on going anywhere - but that’s not what I’m getting at here. What I’m talking about is micro instances that dramatically affect your psyche and stifle your potential. Examples of negative environments can include living in a neighbourhood or a house that doesn’t suit you, staying in a romantic relationship that doesn’t meet your needs or remaining in a career or job that doesn’t resonate with your soul. 

These are all instances that are completely unnecessary and can easily be escaped from, as well as avoided the next time you see the warning signs.

Life is simply a series of good and bad decisions, and the best decisions you can make are directly tied to the environments that you find yourself in every day. So often, we think that because we’re absorbing content and information, that’s all that we can do. We just have to accept the hand we’ve been dealt, and this is the life you have to live. 

The only thing that can stand in the way of putting ourselves in environments that we actually want to live in is fear. This fear can come in many shapes and forms. Whether it’s the fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of rejection, or the fear of judgement, you owe it to yourself to face this fear so you can fulfill your potential in this one life you have to live. 

Michael Jordan said “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” If you’re constantly standing on the sidelines, taking in the game - and wishing you could play too, this is just a miserable existence, plain and simple. 

When it comes to facing your fears, there are a certain number of moves you need to make to build up the energy required to take that first step in the right direction. A simple exercise you can do to snap yourself out of it is to grab a pen and paper and find a place where you won’t be interrupted for 25 minutes or so. 

I want you to write down every single time you did something that you would now be terrified of, but in that moment some feeling of power came over you and gave you the confidence to do what you know you needed to do. 

This can include asking out that person you were interested in, learning a new skill and succeeding in performing it - whether in sports or the arts - or even when you stood up in front of the class and did a speech when you were a kid. 

Maybe you did these things and they were messy, and maybe you even felt horribly uncomfortable while you were doing them - but you still did them, and you know that you felt great after you did them. 

Another thing you can do to build up your energy and your levels of inspiration is to look to the successes and failures of others. We see other people in this world as mirrors. For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been fascinated by what it took for the greats to reach stardom. 

Some of the most sizeable success stories in the world are born out of fear, failure and repeated attempts for that person to attain what they were after. Use these stories to inspire your direction and your choices.

Once you’ve built up the courage to choose your environment, then you have to do the actual choosing. So, grab another piece of paper and a pen and sit somewhere where you won’t be interrupted for 25 to 45 minutes. 

I want you to write out a plan. Where were you 2 years ago, where are you now, and where do you see yourself in 2-5 more years? If you’ve been running on autopilot for a while now, then this is going to be painful. But, you HAVE to do it. You owe it to your future self. Get angry with yourself if you have to to get the process started, and then give yourself love and understanding as you write. 

Take good stock of everything that you’re writing down. How do you feel about it? Do you like the boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife that you’re with? Do you like your job? Your city? Your home? 

Start with everything that you currently have and what got you to that point, and then write out the business plan for your life. Start small. Write down what changes you want to make every month for the next year. Then write down where you’ll be in two years, and then finally where you’ll be in 5 years and 10 years. 

Once you’ve decided how you want to change your environment, then it’s time to take action. Nothing impressive or important was built in a day, so this is why it’s so important to take baby steps - one day and one action at a time. 

If you hate your job and that environment has become toxic, don’t quit! Keep doing your job, but find things to be grateful for while you’re at work - trust me, there is always something to be grateful for, no matter the situation. 

As you build gratitude for the job you already have, think about what you would rather be doing instead. Maybe you love cooking and you want to have a cooking channel on YouTube. Start watching other cooking videos that inspire you - use it as a research phase of the shift in your environment. 

From there, start taking photos of the food that you cook for yourself and share them, then make simple, low barrier videos - like timelapses of your cooking process, where you just set a camera up, record one angle and then speed up the entire process before you post. 

From there, get a cheap lav mic and talk through the process of what you’re cooking. Then level up again, and again and again. Do you see how easy that was? One step at a time, you’ve arrived at making videos about something you love, but it all started with the simple, mindless action of watching some cooking videos on YouTube. 

Maybe you’ll get some traction on your own YouTube channel and you can finally quit your job, and maybe you won’t - but what you’ve done is build gratitude for your current job, and you’ve created energy by taking action and doing activities that bring you joy, and even if it doesn’t become what you thought it would be, it still leads to something better, and then something better yet again, and again. 

This same strategy can be applied to any environment that doesn’t suit you. If you don’t like the house you live in, then start looking at listings and see what happens. If you don’t like your partner, then start to imagine what life would look like without them. 

You don’t have to understand all of the steps required to get you to a desired end result. All you have to do is begin.

Now, say you’re like me and you decided that you didn’t want to live in your hometown anymore. You’ve decided to relocate a few hours away, across the country or even to a new country all together. How do you maintain the growth and the momentum once the initial excitement wears off? 

You need to make this new place your own. Get involved with the new location and keep making moves in the right direction. The reason it feels so good - for a time - to be back in your home town is because it’s where you were born and raised. 

You can drive down any street and go to any mall or landmark and feel something. This is called nostalgia, and it is one of the deadliest drugs known to man. 

When my father passed away, I lost more than just my dad. I lost my childhood home and my family cottage. I didn’t have to lose those things. I could have bought my brothers out of my dad’s house, and I could have continued to share the family property with my other brother that I don’t see eye to eye with. 

Instead, we sold the childhood home and my younger brother and I had our older brother buy us out of the cottage that the three of us shared. I then took all of that inheritance and invested it directly into my business. My business has become a cash flowing asset, and it’s blossomed into a career that I love, that has taken me to a city that I thrive in - all because I decided to ignore the feeling or nostalgia and proceed into the unknown. 

This wasn’t easy, but it was necessary - just like you know ignoring the nostalgia of your hometown and living where you want to live is necessary. 

But, feeling good is important. We want and need to feel good, so all you need to do in your new environment is make new memories that can become your future nostalgia. Good memories are made in the moment, but bad ones are too. 

Do you ever think about how it gets harder and harder to make new friends the older you get? This is because when we’re younger - we don’t have a care in the world. When I was in my late teens and early twenties, I was constantly surrounded by friends. This is because we partied together every weekend - but as you get into your mid to late twenties, thirties and beyond, you aren’t really prioritizing slamming a two six of rum every Saturday night. 

You start to think about your family, your career and making good, forward thinking decisions. If you aren’t into social rituals and hobbies like most of society - then where does this leave you when it comes to making new memories? 

Some of the best friends I’ve made in the past several years have been tied directly to my work. There was Mike, my photography mentor, Jay Ash who also worked with Mike, Sandy, a fine art painter who I made a video for, Jon and Kyle who are fellow photographers, the clients that I work with in my business and countless others who I have met entirely through my career. 

So, when you’re enjoying your new city, really prioritize also doing the kind of work that attracts the kinds of people that you resonate with. If you’re working a crappy job at a concrete company, and 9 out of the 10 guys that you work with are scum of the earth, and you can’t wait to go home - then it might be time to reconsider your natural skillsets and what you could see yourself enjoying doing every day, with people that you naturally get on with. 

Living in an environment that resonates with the deepest parts of your psyche is a choice. Remember the soldiers in Vietnam who thought they were addicted to heroin. As it turned out, all they had to do was be removed from a toxic environment so as to not even give the narcotic a second thought. 

You, too, are capable of this. It starts with taking small actions, and facing your fears. Your life is incredibly short, and I know that you deserve to soak up every day in the environments that speak to you and give you a deep sense of purpose and meaning. 

Trust yourself, listen to your gut - and figure it out as you go. You don’t need all the answers at the start, you just need to take the first step. 

All The Best,

Jay Ashcroft

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